I painted my new front door yesterday. It is horrible. I'm a failure. 

Sometimes I feel like a total crazy person. I have no control over the things that go on inside my home or at my job.

My kids don't listen to me. 

My husband is clueless to my frustration or he acts like he is. 

My dogs are horrible. 

I am horrible. 

I need a drink. Oh wait. I'm on a diet. Can't drink. 

So I'm on a diet. 

I've been really good about not eating fast food. I haven't had starbucks or soda. I've only had the tiniest sip of sweet tea because I was choking on my low sugar high protein granola bar. I've kept my sugar intake super low and my protein and fiber high. It's been 10 days. I haven't lost weight. I don't mind. I just want to be thin. 

I'm starting to feel like my "fake it Til you make it" mentality has made me a different person. A person I don't like. 

This is my new dog.

To do 2015

I've got to get my shit together in 2015. I am not a nice person. I'm not a good parent. I'm not a good wife or housekeeper. Not a good dog owner or employee. I'm so frustrated at myself. I am spread too thin and don't know how to ask for help. 

Maybe

Maybe I could blog more this year. Maybe 2015 I could keep a diary of all the things pinging around inside my pinhead. 

So far it goes something like this:

My house is a blustery mess. I've never seen anything like it. I'm tired and stressed and annoyed. I got a new dog for Christmas. Something I wanted.... Except she is really a bad dog and I don't really have time to train her. She is sweet and happy but knows no commands and sh*ts in her crate everyday. as of this morning I learned that even though I busted my tail selling last month, I most likely won't get to go to the award ceremony due to the fact that I was one write up because of a really dumb situation. A lying consumer to be exact.  eff that. Lilly the Bulldogge stinks. Like ass. My nose is working overtime lately. I don't know why. I'm on a doet which had been quite successful so far.... But I'm kinda in the BITCH stage.