resolutions 2013

2013
Already? Anyone other than me still questioning how y2k already came and went? 13 years ago....

In 2013 I resolve to:
Be nicer
Complain less
Put less junk into my body
More fun with the kids
Less worry about the little things that are out of my control
A new job?
More Church involvement


Xxoo,
Frootie!

on being a mother

being a mother is the hardest job i can imagine having.  i love my children to the moon and back again around the world and up and down - and loving them is a tough gig.  i worry.  i fret.  

i tend to believe that i worry to an unhealthy extent.  i am fragile.  i am broken.  i have good days and i have bad days, but daily i worry and worry and worry.  i exhaust myself thinking about all the what ifs and what nots that could happen to make my children unhappy or unhealthy.  

i spend most nights praying constantly that they stay well and stay asleep.  i lose sleep praying that they will sleep.  i stay awake praying that they rest.  i hear a cough and i fly awake and begin praying again.  my air or heat kicks on or off and i pop awake and start to worry.  there are a few hours each day when i am not worrying.  if i had to guess i would say it was between the hours of noon and 4.  

i can't imagine my life without these little humans.  i don't have any idea how people make it through the loss or serious illness with a child.  my life would be destroyed.  i couldn't go on.  i cry just thinking about it.  

i dread becoming a mother to adults.  how does that even work?  when they are making their own decisions and they live on their own...what will i do then?

i will pray.  i will pray like i do now and i will work hard to make sure that i don't damage them.  i will work hard from then until now to make sure they do a better job than i do at being a christian.  i will push them to be a better human than me.  i will encourage them to make the world a better place through their work and their philanthropy.

i love them.  

Fear Not

Today in Church Pastor Greg preached a spin, a good spin, on the Christmas story.  In Luke 2:9-10 the Angel of the Lord comes to the shephards of the field and they are terrified.  The angel tells them to not be afraid because today is born Christ Jesus our Savior.  The point of his message is that this tiny passage in the Bible is something that all of us worriers can rest our fears on. 

His message hit pretty close to home with this Mama.  Man, I worry with the best of them.  I cannot imagine what my life would be like without worry.  I worry mainly about my children.  I pray nightly for some semblance of peace and rest without being concerned about my babies.  I trust in God above all and I know that there are Angels watching over my children every second of the day - but the CRAZY part of me - causes fear and worry to be my constant companion.  

I need some serious prayer and guidance.  I will pray more and worry less.  I will rest my fear in the Lord.  

xxoo,

Frootie!

Christmas Traditions

at Dad's on Christmas Eve he reads the Christmas Story after dinner and before gift exchange.  I want to start reading it on Christmas Eve before bed too.  

Luke 2:7-14 (NIV-ish)

7...and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

⁸ And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. ⁹ An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. ¹⁰ But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. ¹¹ Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. ¹² This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

¹³ Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,

¹⁴ “Glory to God in the highest heaven,
    and peace on earth goodwill toward men."

Thankful

for too many things to count...But here is a short collection (in no particular order):

Nora and Graham.  What a delightful brood I have.  They make me happy.  I love them so much.

Ella.  She is the sprinkles on our cupcake.

Clinton.  All of him.  The silly, the serious, the conversations, the silence.  All the things I roll my eyes at and all the things I want to happen over and over again.  Couch cuddling, dinner cooking, reading in bed, being parents, being in love.  He is everything I never needed/wanted/and didn't know I needed/wanted.  My marriage is practically perfect in every way.

My parents.  All 4 of them.  I am amazingly blessed with step-parents from paradise.  My mom and dad and dad and debbie.  Y'all make it all the way it should be.  I am so sad for people who don't have good parents.

My job.  I hate it.  But I love my team, my management, my company.  Just not the pressure.  The money...yes, that.  It pays my bills.  It leaves nothing more.  It is just right.

Pretzel M&Ms.

Wine.  

Danskos.  My work shoes allow me to stand all day without wanting to murder my customers.

Crocs.  

Elf.  My favorite Christmas movie.  Tis the season!

Jesus.  My savior.  How cool is that?  

Clinton's job.  It's a pain not having a schedule.  It's lonely when he's gone.  If we didn't have this job.  We couldn't make it.  Ends WOULD NOT meet.

Stella McCartney Perfume.

OPI nail polish.

My tiny home.  It's warm.  It's cozy.  

My closest friends.  Rachel, Ryan, and Rebecca.  They know every bit of me.  And, they love me just the same.  

My work friends.  You all make 9-8 tolerable.  We are a family.

The rest of my family.  Blood related and not.  

That is quite a list and honestly, it's no where close to being complete.

God is Great!  He has given me all I need and more.  

xxoo,

Frootie!

Sick

My daycare lady warned me that "the bug" is going around....now I'm freaking terrified. I HATE "the bug" ... I know everyone hates it, but I hate it more. I wish it never ever existed. Having small children and being sick isn't an option. HavIng one sick child and one healthy child also sucks. I don't even want to think about having 2 sick ones at the same time. I am a nervous wreck. I just got over being a wreck almost daily about it after Nora had it in Feb. it took omgosh like 8 months. Help. Pray. I know I am.

xxoo,
Frootie!

Christmas Lists

Ella wants a bunch of crap for her American Girl Doll. Why? Why is it that kids want such expensive stuff and then they are over it approximately 5 days after Christmas?

Nora wants a stroller for her baby doll and a doll house. This year will be really fun for us with her because she is starting to 'get it'.

Graham is too know to know what he wants and doesn't want. But he's getting socks and little people stuff.

Clinton says he wants books. I am gonna surprise him this year and I can't wait!

I want an iPad mini. Or a juicer. Or some new work shoes.

All my kids need socks. Hunting for socks every morning will make me prematurely grey.

xxoo,
Frootie!

Thanksgiving

At what point in my life should I start having thanksgiving traditions? And how does a vegetarian have traditions for a holiday that circles around mass turkey executions?

This year I think I'm gonna try tofurkey. I hope it's good. I'd love to eat tofurkey sandwiches on Black Friday and Saturday. Speaking of Black Friday, I need to get an aerobed of some sort.

New Year's Eve my friend Ryan is coming home from England. He's going to stay with us for a bit and I am so excited/nervous! Our little house is really going to be busting at the seams. Busting with fun!

xoxo,
Frootie!

Dogs

I have really cute dogs.

Praying

I am not very good at prayer. If I were to be asked to pray over dinner....I would decline. It makes me terribly uncomfortable. Because of my fear I am working with Nora to get her more comfortable with praying in public.

The prayer I encourage is: Dear Jesus. Thank you for food, thank you for our house, and thank you for everyone who loves us. Amen.

At first it was me saying and her repeating. Now she says it on her own.

And.

The last 2 times....she's thanked Jesus for Mama.

Me!

Xoxo,
Frootie!

Scandal

Anyone else watching this show?  Holy Crap!  I never know what's going to happen next.  The writers of this show are either insane or totally brilliant.  Maybe both.  

I highly recommend.

xxoo,

Frootie!

Five years in a few sentences

I try not to be that girl.  The one who always brings up the past - but somedays I can't help it.  Yesterday Prince C and I celebrated 3 years of marriage.  4 years of love.  My life has never been better.  I am poorer and happier and amazed at how God works.  Here is a quick jaunt into how my life has changed in the last 5 years.

Five Years ago this week - My past and I had just returned from a trip out west.  I found out the past was in love with someone else.  Someone who became his future and I am happy for them now.  

Four Years ago this week (give/take) - Prince C said "I love you for the first time".

Three Years ago this week - We said "I Do" and started our life together.

Two Years ago this week - We celebrated our first anniversary and I was awed at our happiness.

Last Year  this week - we had a son.  We celebrated our anniversary in the hospital.

This year - we went on a brisk trip to the mountains.  We ate and laughed and explored.  It was lovely.

My life is amazing and wonderful.  I am grateful for my past and I am hopeful for my future.  I can not wait to see what God has in store for our family.  

xxoo,

Frootie!

I so much.

This morning Prince C brought Nori in to lay in bed with us for a bit. She crawled in and cuddled right up with me sharing my pillow. In her sweetest moment to date she says "I lub you Mommy" and I responded "I love you Nora" and cuddled her extra close. Then she flipped over again and said."I so much!" what a sweet little lovey honeybee I have. "I love you so much Nora!"

xxoo,
Frootie!

Fear

Sometimes I really need to get a grip. Those sometimes usually happen in the days after my past invades my dreamscape. My past. A failed marriage before the third anniversary.

Failure.

A few days back that past barged into my dreams. In said dream Prince C and I were on a little getaway (we are planning something for our anniversary) and the past and his present were there. We were all at the same restaurant (or something of the sort) and that was that. Ships in the night. No real interaction, just faces in the crowd. Since that nightmare of sorts - the shit hath hitteth the fan eth- in my brain.

I fear losing what I have now. I fear failure again. Do i really ever ever ever ever ever have a reason to think that - NO ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY NOT. My life is perfect. Look the word up in the dictionary...the definition is "Frootie's marriage". My brain just has seizures and drags history into the photograph even though that history doesn't involve my present.

Get out of my brain you pesky a-hole. OUT. OUT. OUT.

I love every centimeter, every crevasse of what I have right now. Turkey, Nora, Hammy, and Prince C are all a dream come true. I have more than I ever imagined I would have. Why won't the nightmares end??

xxoo,
Frootie!

Help

Y'all for real I need help. Here are the things I have ruined my child by allowing and I am not sure how to break it.

1. TV in bed. Usually Nemo and she always stays up to late.
2. Milk. Chocolate milk. She's on her THIRD cuppie right now. Oh gosh.
3. Not wanting to sleep or stay in her room.

She's 2 and a half. Am I doomed for all eternity?

xxoo,
Frootie!

Holy Crap

Oh my goodness, I can't believe I have let my blog lay dormant for over 6 months. I guess I needed the break. The last several months have been a total whirlwind. I cannot believe summer is almost over. Here is a list of things I HAVE NOT accomplished this summer:
-Nora is not potty trained yet
-She did not take swimming lessons
-I have not had my carpet cleaned....or had a clean house at any point this summer
-I have not slept more than 6 hours straight more than once since Graham was born. When I was sick back in June and Clinton was off work - he stayed up with the kids and let me sleep all night and sleep late into he morning.
-I didn't paint the girls' beds or clean out the garage
-I didn't get rid of any of the excess crap we don't need.

Here is a short list of what I have done:
-I painted my dresser green. I LOVE it.
-I got a minivan! I LOVE it
-I saw Dark Knight Rises. It was good
-I turned 31 and celebrated by eating at my fave place, Windy Corner.
-We found a church we LOVE. Praise the Lord!
-We have mostly kept up with the 366 days photos. I can't wait to make a book of those pix!

Xxoo,
Frootie!

366 photos of the Babes!

Here are the next 12 days!

xxoo,
Frootie!

Ten on Tues

1. Yesterday was Pie day! I announced it at work and my goobery asst manager said, "I'm wearing a Tie!" Pie day. Sigh. Giggle. Today is Peanut Butter day btw. I had a PBandH sandwich for my LATE dinner.

2. Nora has decided she doesn't want to wear pajamas. Or clothes really. She is almost always naked with a dipee in the morning and is constantly yanking at her shirts saying "off off!" Stripper. At least she has ambition.

3. Graham is a wonderful little nursling. Why couldn't Nora have nursed so easily and harmoniously? He just nurses and smiles and holds my finger. It is probably the most wonderful thing in my life that is quiet and relaxing. (Nora being the most wonderful thing that is loud and adorable and her daddy being the most wonderful thing that is insane and lovable oh yes, and Ella being the most wonderful sassy pants).

4. My team at work is finally meshing. I like that. Less stress for sure.

5. On Feb 4th I am going to paint a picture! Paint - like an artist! I can't wait! With Hil and TLo. Girl time, squeeeee!

6. I just realized I got honey on my sheets. sticky.

7. How much HGTV is healthy for a normal human being? Oh, so little? Yikes! Good thing, I AM NOT NORMAL.

8. I LOVE the show Revenge. Do you watch it? Doesn't it make you want to be rich and wear super fancy clothes? I would just want to be nice so Emily didn't feel the need to do nasty things to my family.

9. I sometimes wonder if my house will ever be organized and clutter free... I dream of a someday when it is. Annnnnd, then I am saddened realizing that I will be old and my babies will be grown when it probably happens.

10. I wish I could come up with something similar to FreeKaren -- anyone other than me remember that? FreeKaren, she was overloaded with credit card debt and she made a webpage where people donated to her and she listed all sorts of sh--CRAP on eBay and got herself out of debt fast. I need that. I also need my lawyer to get my lazy, fat ex to pay the money detailed in the divorce decree. Geezalou!

Life is good with us. How is it with you?

xxoo,

Frootie!

Saying Goodbye

Today we said goodbye to a wonderful man. I am going to miss him so much. I wasn't a great grand-daughter lately, admittedly. I live so close and I have been *too busy* to visit enough. I wish I could go back and change that. Instead I have to hold my memories tight.

Obituary

My Papaw Ray married my Nannie when I was 4ish. I don't remember a time in my life without him. Their wedding night he built me a tent instead of spending it with his new sweet wife because I wanted to stay with them and then I was sick all night. Go figure. He worked for Armored Car here in Lexington and I remember going to the headquarters where his office was and there was money stacked all over. It was so cool.

Every summer I spent a week with he and my Nannie down at Lake Cumberland. We bathed in the lake, boated (he let me drive), we stayed up late, and everyday he wrote me a love letter before he went to work. As far as I know, he wrote Nannie or Miss E as he called her, a love note everyday. I hope to someday get my hands on them. His handwriting was beautiful.

He was a Marine. Everyday he was a Marine. An member of the NRA and a lover and fearer of our God.

He loved me so much. He as a dream of a Grandpa. He was everything I could have wished for as a role model and friend.

In October we had a son. He carries on Papaw Ray's name as a middle name. I am so thankful that Graham Raymond Davis got to meet his great grandfather. I am so saddened that he won't get to shoot guns with him or hear about how much Jesus loves him from my Grandfather's mouth. Ray loved our Lord. I can't say that enough. God and Miss E. God, Miss E, and Me. God and Family. Times a thousand.

He will be missed. Everytime I look at my son now, I feel his namesake over my shoulder.

Little Cracker. You have a really cool guardian angel.

xxoo,

Frootie!

366 days of the Babes

I decided since Graham is a little turd and Nora's growing so fast that I would try to take a photo a day for the year. Here's post 1 - with 8 photos.

New Year's Day

1.2.12

1.3.12

1.4.12

1.5.12

1.6.12

1.7.12

1.8.12

Turkey will appear when she is with us, but she hasn't been here since the first. We've has a really busy week since I went back to work and Clinton worked several long days. We'll see her face soon I hope!

xxoo,

Frootie!

back to work today...

after 10+ weeks off. Ugh.

So far things are going smoothly, but the kids aren't awake yet. I have already cuddled the baby (he decided that between my first alarm and my snooze that he should be cuddled) showered, blown hair dry, put on my makeup, and pumped. Now on to packing Baby G's stuff for daycare and waking up Nora. Oh boy.

Perhaps once I am back to the swing of things I can blog more. Being off work with a newborn apparently is too much work for me. Haha. I have no excuse other than pure adoration of my new baby and my toddler -- well -- and laziness for why NOTHING got done over the past almost 11 weeks. Oh well.

Have a great day - week - month - whatever - until I blog again.

xxoo,

Frootie!