Tuesday, August 14, 2012


Sometimes I really need to get a grip. Those sometimes usually happen in the days after my past invades my dreamscape. My past. A failed marriage before the third anniversary.


A few days back that past barged into my dreams. In said dream Prince C and I were on a little getaway (we are planning something for our anniversary) and the past and his present were there. We were all at the same restaurant (or something of the sort) and that was that. Ships in the night. No real interaction, just faces in the crowd. Since that nightmare of sorts - the shit hath hitteth the fan eth- in my brain.

I fear losing what I have now. I fear failure again. Do i really ever ever ever ever ever have a reason to think that - NO ABSO-FREAKING-LUTELY NOT. My life is perfect. Look the word up in the dictionary...the definition is "Frootie's marriage". My brain just has seizures and drags history into the photograph even though that history doesn't involve my present.

Get out of my brain you pesky a-hole. OUT. OUT. OUT.

I love every centimeter, every crevasse of what I have right now. Turkey, Nora, Hammy, and Prince C are all a dream come true. I have more than I ever imagined I would have. Why won't the nightmares end??


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