Happiness is something you think you have and then what you thought was happiness is gone and you're miserable.
You find happy in a way you never knew could exist. For some people it takes a while and for some it comes very quickly.
Interestingly enough, I am one of those who found it very quickly after my mediocre happiness disappeared. If you keep up with my blog you know what I mean, but you don't know the details. I feel like telling you them now....
Eight months ago tomorrow I told my husband to leave. He hadn't loved me enough for at least a year...maybe more. I knew it was the right thing to do, but I still felt horrible. I felt like every inch of my insides were turning to stone. I had been out of town for several days and when I came back nothing felt right. He wasn't excited for me to be home, he was distant, he was weird. I got home on Monday, I kicked him out on Thursday. He was extra weird on Wednesday night, Thursday morning I checked his texts and he had texted his friend to say he wanted to be with the other woman "more than anything in the world". Ouch. But, at the same time, comforting. I knew he was cheating. I had known for almost 2 years. I knew it started innocently enough...but it was still cheating, it was unacceptable, and I lived with it, which in itself is unacceptable. But, I thought he would get over it. I never thought it would go anywhere. It did. He left. He moved in with her.
Rewind back to being out of town. I was at my cousin's wedding in Georgia. My Aunt introduced me to the Best Man (I know now...this is the best title for him). It was just a "hey, how are ya" kind of meeting. Nothing of it. He was cute, very cute, but there were other things on my mind, namely 8 large glasses of red wine. Fast Forward. I facebook friended all the people I met at the wedding. I friended him. I emailed him. I asked him how on earth he was doing it. How on earth are you functioning? He replied, it was short, something about his little girl and how he wasn't much help if I didn't have kids. My feelings were a little hurt, but, he didn't owe me anything so I let it go. The next few days were a bit of a whirlwind. But, somehow, we went on our first date on July 22nd. Yes, that's right, just a few days after my marriage ended. We met in Louisville for PF Chang's and our date lasted somewhere around 4 hours.
This cute boy and I spent some time together. We spent weekends together when we could, we went to the lake, then...all of a sudden it was a constant thing...we were together all the time. Well, as much as we could be, since we live in different states. We fell in love. And we fell hard. It happened very fast. Now we are talking about babies and marriage and happily ever after.
Happiness, it is a funny thing.